Life Circumstances
Midlife is not for sissies. So many changes can happen during the years after 40 that you may have trouble keeping up. Change is a source of anxiety during even the best of times and when it is a positive change. But add to that any hormone fluctuations, health problems and/or major life events and you have a recipe for feeling overwhelmed. Among the common changes and challenges that a woman faces during these years are:
- Children hitting their teens. This can cause “the perfect storm” of hormones in the household, as everyone struggles to manage the mood and behavior changes of their bodies.
- Aging parents. If you are responsible for the care or well-being of an aging parent, it can be daunting. Helping them deal with health problems, mortality issues and their own aging can leave you feeling exhausted and depleted.
- Marriage. Marriages can evolve, devolve or dissolve during this time of life, and marriage instability can lead to anxiety, depression, grief or physical illness. If your marriage is going through any major change in dynamic, get the support you need and realize that your mood will suffer.
- Work stress. Many issues come up in the work world during the middle years. You may be accepting more and more responsibility. You may or may not get a promotion, and either way it can introduce stressors that effect your mood. You may be coming up against a younger work force, or you may be facing the work world for the first time in many years. When a paycheck is at stake, any work stress can cause your mood to deteriorate.
- Other changes. Any changes in the status quo can push you over the edge if you run your life with a narrow margin for flexibility. A daughter getting married, relocating to a new home, health issues, or other changes to your normal routine can shorten your fuse and make you more likely to be anxious, irritable or sad.
Your Attitude Toward Aging
It’s a common theme that women over 40 begin to see themselves as less valuable, less attractive and less powerful than when they were younger. As a culture we do not revere women as they age, and as a gender we have absorbed those attitudes and assumptions. When a woman looks in the mirror and sees an older woman looking back, she reassesses her worth.
If you have always seen older women as less valuable or unappealing, you will undoubtedly see yourself that way unless you actively re-learn how to view aging. With so many of us coming into the middle years together, it is an opportunity to turn around the view of midlife as we did with sexuality during the 1960s. Your forties and fifties can be full of accomplishment and satisfaction when you let yourself enjoy the hard won comfort of your own competence.
If you find yourself buying in to an attitude of “older is lesser” do something to actively fight that notion. For example:
- Read empowering books, like Gail Sheehy’s Sex and the Seasoned Woman, or Gene Cohen’s The Creative Age to get ideas about how to lead a richer life as you get older.
- Start a women’s support group to teach each other how to enjoy this phase of life. Call yourselves “The Menopause Margaritas” or have a “Flash Party” to kick start your group.
- Hang around older women you admire. There are so many ways to do it right. The more models you have for healthy and positive aging, the better you will transition through the menopause years. You will see it as the beginning of a special time instead of the end of being valued.
Feeling excited and eager about this phase of your life is the best antidote to the “Older Doldrums.” If you see yourself as being more diminished by the day, it will affect your mood and outlook. In the checklist of mood clues, be sure you do an attitude assessment to see whether that is darkening your mood.
Mood Matters
If your mood is battered by your menopause transition, there are things you can do. If you (or someone around you) says you just aren’t yourself, many approaches that will improve mood swings. Depending on what is causing them you might want to consider:- Hormone therapy
- Treatment for a sleep Disorder
- Lifestyle changes that get you less stress and more sleep
- More Exercise
- Stress management techniques
- Treatments for hot flashes and night sweats
- Anti-anxiety medications
- Antidepressant medications
Mood changes during menopause can be very unnerving. They effect your relationships and your ability to manage your life. Follow these four steps to a better mood:
- Figure out why your mood is slipping. Whether it is hormones or life stress, you need to look at what the causes might be before you try to treat it.
- Make lifestyle changes that make sense. Some simple changes can help even out your moods, including exercise, earlier bedtime, talking about it, or eliminating stimulants like caffeine.
- Get treatment. Mood problems during this time of life are common, and the earlier you deal with them, the sooner you can lessen their impact on your life. Don’t be afraid to discuss this with your doctor or healthcare provider.
- Hang in. The worst mood changes tend to happen in the early perimenopause. As your body adjusts to the new levels of estrogen and other changes, you will probably see a marked improvement in your mood symptoms.
If you are looking for a doctor, About.com has a tool to help.
Sources:
Boston’s Women’s Health Book Collective, Our Bodies, Ourselves: Menopause, Touchstone/Simon and Shuster, New York. 2006.
Dennerstein, L, Lehert, P, Burger, H, Dudley, E. “Mood and the menopausal transition” Journal of Nervous Mental Disorders Vol. 187 No.11, p. 685-691, 1999, retrieved 9 Mar, 2008.
Harlow, BL, Wise, LA, et al, “Depression and Its Influence on Reproductive Endocrine and Menstrual Cycle Markers Associated With Perimenopause” Arch Gen Psychiatry, Vol. 60 No. 1, Jan. 2003, retrieved 9 Mar, 2008.
Shepherd, J, “Conference Report: Effects of Estrogen on Cognition, Mood, and Degenerative Brain Diseases” J Am Pharm Assoc., Vol.41 No.2, p221-228, 2001, retrieved 9 Mar, 2008.
